I just fucking hate japanese BA.

 

Happiness is heavy. 

It's on me everywhere.

    

Visszautalva neked, ki tudom, még lopva olvasol

- vagy ha tévedek, ugyan mindegy is - 

visszapörgetve az utóbbi fél év bejegyzéseit:

(ne is kérdezd)

csupa hiány, sóvárgás és távolság.

S ez igen meglepett, de értelmet is adott.

      

    

   

     

Azt hiszem napokig tudnálak nézni, miközben alszol,

s egy percre sem fáradnék bele a mosolygásba. 

     

    
    

     

Rád gondolok és libabőrös vagyok.

   

2015

Úgy tűnik, ez az az időszak,
amikor a dolgok úgy alakulnak,

ahogyan azoknak lenniük kell.

Még ha ez nem is mindig azonos azzal,
amit

 - vagy amiről azt hittük, hogy - 

szeretnénk.

     

!חֵיפָה

!אני באה

   

I do care about Your happiness too.

   

How can it be such uncomfortable without you?

...and it's you and me and all of the people,

and I don't know why,

I can't keep my eyes off of you... 

   

Meanwhile, You light up my life now like nothing and no one else. 

   

It's crazy how your heart and feelings can transform from one condition to another. It's frightening and also comforting because you know it can heal. Last night we were on a wedding. The song 'Lucky' was on from Jason Mraz and Colbie Caillat. I was happy, really glad to hear that song again, my heart could melt, but I was so so sad at the same time. I am not in love with my best friend anymore. We talk and meet rarely, and I know that this is the way it should be. I do not want to take it back or begin again, I am just still sad that it's over. Sometimes I think about the memories and I become blue because they are so sweet it hurts so much. It was so great - we were so great, but it had to end. And I think I can learn to accept it but it takes some time.

Fénysebességgel távolodom az életemtől....

...vagy attól, amit eddig annak hittem.